Your financial situation

Portrait of Young Lesbian Couple at Subway Station

Before launching into a conversation, it is important to understand how you feel about your own financial situation.

Money can be a complex topic, and in relationships, there are many aspects to discuss and understand. It is important to first work out what you need financially to feel confident and secure within the relationship.

Money conversations tend to be ongoing, so it is unlikely all of your questions will be discussed in the first conversation. 

It can be useful to pick and choose where to start – below are some questions that will help you work out how you are feeling about your current situation and clarify what you want to know, and what money conversations may be most helpful.

Start by asking yourself these questions:

How would you describe your financial situation – are you happy with it?
Do you have access to or can you get access to your family money?
Do you know how much money or debt you and your family have? – including STD (sexually transmitted debt), that comes into the relationship from previous relationships
Are you happy with the amount of money you contribute to the household finances?
Are you happy with your level of access, control or input you have over the family money and financial decision ­making?
Are you afraid to have conversations with your partner about money?
What effect is that having on your life, self-esteem, and relationship?
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  • How would you describe your financial situation – are you happy with it?
  • Do you have access to or can you get access to your family money?
  • Do you know how much money or debt you, and your family have – including STD (Sexually Transmitted Debt, that comes into the relationship from previous relationships)?
  • Are you happy with your level of access, control or input you have over the family money and financial decision ­making?
  • Are you afraid to have conversations with your partner about money? 
  • What effect is that having on your life, self-esteem, and relationship?
  • Are you happy with the amount of money you contribute to the household finances?

Considering all the information from the questions above – what have you learned about your financial position?  

What would you like to achieve by talking to your partner about money? 

Write down a couple of goals you want to achieve and keep these in your mind when you are ready to have a conversation.

© Good Shepherd NZ and AUT, 2021

Good Shepherd NZ has built this toolkit in collaboration with Dr Ayesha Scott of AUT’s Finance Department.