Client Stories Topic: Debt and rebuilding credit

Juliette’s story about dealing with debt

I’d love to find a house where the children can have their own bedrooms and go to a good school. I’m keen to finish my studies and pursue a career in nursing.

My partner’s physical and financial abuse took a real
toll on me. My kids and I can’t rent a house or buy a car
because of the debt he took out in my name.

This is Juliette’s story, edited to keep her safe and help you read. Quotes are Juliette’s own words. Names have been changed.

I was with Steve for ten years, and I left the relationship ten months ago.

Before we got together, I was happy and financially independent — feeling proud of what I had achieved in my work and studies after doing some level four certificates to further my career in the disability sector.

“Nothing is ever perfect, but life was pretty good. I had my own finances. I had been working since I was 15.”

Steve and I started seeing each other and things were going ok. We had been together for just a month when I became pregnant. This felt like it sped things up and we hadn’t gotten to know each other very well yet. Our relationship was fine until I was eight months’ pregnant and on maternity leave, when he hit me for the first time.

I was the main income earner and only stopped working to go on a benefit for a short time after having each of my two children. His mental health was not good, so he chose not to work and stay at home with the kids instead. He would guilt trip me about having to be a stay-at-home dad, and insisted I buy him gifts and let him spend whatever money he wanted on himself. His physical violence continued through the course of our relationship.

He paid close attention to my earning and spending and made me ask permission before I bought anything. I was earning a good wage so couldn’t understand why there was often less in the bank account than I expected. We relied on food parcels and used layby and Afterpay to buy clothes for the children.

He bought a car on hire purchase without me knowing. He put the car in my name and never made payments on it. He also used my bank card to buy what he wanted without my knowledge. Money kept leaving the bank account and I wasn’t sure where it was going, or why there was nothing to show for it. I discovered that he had a drug addiction. He was spending money on meth
instead of food and other things we needed as a family. I started to hide money and tell him I was earning less than I was so we could buy essentials and get through to the next pay day.

“He would rather use the money to buy drugs than to buy food for the kids. Sometimes I would just give
him money because I was so drained, and I couldn’t argue with him anymore.”

I was worried and I went to Oranga Tamariki for help. I felt like they were judging me for staying in the relationship. Instead of requiring my partner to get help for his addiction, they suggested I go to a parenting course. I tried to leave him many times. He always said he would do better. I thought it would be better for the kids to live with both parents, and I didn’t have the outside support I needed to leave. Earlier this year, counselling sessions and a parenting course helped me find the strength to leave. The children and I were homeless when I left, so we’ve been living in my sister’s lounge. He crashed the first car he bought under my name and got another one using my details, which he isn’t paying for. The debt he has taken out in my name has given me a bad credit rating so I can’t rent a place or buy a car.

“His car has given me bad credit for seven years. His current car is under my name but he’s not paying the bills, so it affects my credit rating. It’s stressful and depressing but I am trying not to think about it.”

My largest debt is to the Ministry of Social Development because each time I left the relationship I had nothing, so received hardship grants to get furniture for my children. The debt built up to thousands and I am paying it back $25 a week. I’m still paying off the debts I accumulated through the relationship, but I feel a bit better about managing them now. I feel ashamed about how long I stayed with Steve, but I’m also proud of how far I have come. The kids are seven and nine now. I really hope our future will be debt-free and financially stable.

“[I hope to] have a better career, kids settled at a good school — simple things like that. I’m doing better now. I’m striving for the best.”

Juliette’s story Download

Getting Susan back on her feet after extreme relationship violence

Susan experienced extreme relationship violence and lost her business and her home. A grant helped Susan apply for, register and serve bankruptcy documents to her ex so she can be paid the money she is owed.

Susan* experienced extreme relationship violence, which caused the loss of her business and privately owned home. Threatening behaviours continued in the form of stalking after the relationship ended. She lived in hiding out of fear for her safety, and was facing ongoing challenges with her health as a result of violence.

When Susan enquired about a Good Loan for some legal costs, she was renting a home shared with her son who is autistic. She was receiving the sickness benefit and struggling to meet the costs of basic needs. Years of lengthy court proceedings against her ex-partner had taken a toll, which worsened when the High Court ruled in favour of Susan receiving $61,000 for unpaid child support and her ex fled the country in response.

While she was seeking financial support to progress her legal battle, Susan’s ex made complaints to the Ministry of Social Development, the legal aid service and Inland Revenue. This prevented her accessing any financial assistance from these agencies.

Good Shepherd’s family violence economic harm support service explored options for Susan including a bridging loan. But the complex nature of her situation limited the affordability and repayment of a loan. We approved a grant to cover the cost for Susan to apply for, register and serve bankruptcy documents to her ex so she can be paid the money she is owed. The unpaid child support will enable Susan to get back on her feet and hold her ex-partner accountable. She will have more options to move to affordable housing, plan for a better future, and continue improving her mental and emotional wellbeing.

Working alongside Susan, our team also discussed housing support, connected her with the Salvation Army to address basic needs, and introduced her to a financial mentor to help with challenges moving forward.

In an email, Susan says “Thank you, thank you so much. You have no idea how long I have been waiting for good news. Everyone always has the best intentions but for some reason or another, they can never help! I am forever grateful and will pay it forward as soon as I can”.

“It feels like suddenly there is ground under my feet instead of being in free fall. It still hasn’t fully sunken in yet”.

* name has been changed for safety.

Getting Jane medical care and opportunities

Jane was in urgent need of medical support. But existing high-cost debt and financial commitments made another loan unaffordable. A grant enabled medical care and gave her space to regroup.

Jane contacted Good Shepherd when she was in a difficult situation. She needed urgent medical support, but juggling various debts and financial commitments made it impossible for her to get a loan to cover the costs.

Our team reviewed Jane’s situation and realised a loan from Good Shepherd wasn’t a feasible option in the short term. Her pressing circumstances led to a decision to offer a grant instead, to alleviate her financial and health stress right away. At the same time, we recommended a debt consolidation loan as a longer-term solution for simplifying Jane’s finances and reducing the strain of unmanageable debt.

When the Good Loan Coach called her to explain the decision, Jane was overwhelmed with emotion. She was moved by the level of help she was receiving, especially after being turned down by another service for the one-off expense she urgently needed to cover. 

Jane is now working closely with her coach to explore debt consolidation as a way to regain control over her finances. 

* name has been changed for safety

Allie’s new teeth bring better physical and mental health

After years of abuse, poverty and neglect, Allie’s lost her teeth. She was embarrassed, physically uncomfortable and removing herself from society. Thanks to donations from the public, we could help.

Allie came to Good Shepherd for a loan. While working with her, our team member learned she was experiencing economic harm due to family violence. Allie did not qualify for a loan. We decided to tap into our grant fund as part of wider economic harm support. In response, Allie sent the following email (lightly reworded and anonymised to keep her safe).

“Hello, my name is Allie. I’m 34 and mother to five children. Recently I finally took steps to leave a life of violence and emotional pain — more for my children than myself if I’m being honest.

Life wasn’t kind to me growing up. I didn’t feel safe or happy. I thought violence and cruelty were normal things. We lived in poverty and I thought this kind of life was standard.

I had next to nothing when I left my relationship. It was a hard and humbling experience. I was struggling to get out of bed and do the most basic tasks. I have a degenerative disorder that causes pain and fatigue, and affects many areas of my health including causing heart trouble, hair loss, skin tears and digestion issues. It also makes my teeth crumble.

A few years ago my teeth were wiggling like a young child’s. Years of violence and poor health made the pain in my teeth unbearable. With no money to fund new teeth, I was desperate to have them gone, so I had them pulled out. After this I didn’t leave the house much. I could see people staring at my mouth when I spoke and I felt so embarrassed.

Recently my therapist recommended getting in touch with Good Shepherd for help with debt resulting from abuse in my relationship. I didn’t want to because I thought I would be judged for poor spending choices — when you’re not doing well you don’t always make the best choices. I applied for a Good Shepherd loan, expecting this to be another let down and believing I deserved that. I was contacted by a kind man who didn’t judge me, gave his time freely, and showed me empathy. He also connected me with his colleague Vanessa.

I didn’t qualify for a loan, but she helped me make a plan for managing my debt and chatted to me like I’m a normal person. It felt amazing to be supported by this kind and bubbly person. I really didn’t expect what happened next. I found out I’m getting teeth! Vanessa said a grant would pay for the dental work I need. After four years of having no teeth and no confidence in any situation that requires talking, I am being helped with teeth. Now I’ll be able to talk to my kids’ teachers, and have simple appointments where they won’t look at my mouth when I speak.

It’s the beginning of maybe a more confident, newer self. I’m so incredibly grateful for your help.

P.S. Your staff are those people on the planet who make it less crappy”.

Helping Mīria stay in her home

Mīria was subjected to violence by her partner in the family home she owned. She suffered a huge amount of economic harm and almost lost her house.

Mīria* was referred to Good Shepherd by a financial mentor after she reached out to find help for the debt in her name due to family violence.

She lives rurally, in a North Island town with her children and grandchild. Mīria was subjected to violence by her partner in the family home she owned. Police took her and the children to stay with her mother. They all slept on the floor, while Mīria’s partner remained in her house.

During the relationship, the couple received a benefit. He controlled all the money and financial decisions. Mīria was forced to have debts taken out in her name, and bills only got paid if he wanted them to. She wasn’t allowed to open her own mail or emails.

Mīria obtained a protection order, and after a year of court processes he was incarcerated.

When she was able to return to her home, Mīria learned he had not paid any of the household bills. The power, mortgage, and rates were in arrears. Because of a bad credit rating, the mortgage was with a third-tier, high-cost lender and the debts were out of control. Mīria also has $19,000 of debt owing to Work and Income.

She had been working with Women’s Refuge, Work and Income, and a financial mentor to try and sort out the relationship debt she was left with. Good Shepherd was contacted a day before the house was going to mortgagee auction. Our family violence economic harm service made contact with the mortgage lender. We learned about a $9,000 car loan her ex-partner had taken out, secured by the house. The car loan was with another high-cost lender and, because he hadn’t been making payments, it had increased to $30,000.

Through meetings and discussions, Good Shepherd managed to halt the house sale while a new contract was negotiated with an interest rate almost four per cent lower. Other debts needed to be addressed for this agreement to go ahead.

We contacted the relevant creditors and collections agencies, managing to get debt wiped to the value of almost $8,000. This included power arrears and Afterpay. Centrix removed outstanding defaults from Mīria’s credit report. Through several conversations with the council, we accessed a $750 rates rebate which took the arrears debt to $6,630. Some of this was added to the new mortgage, and the remainder was paid by a grant from Good Shepherd. Reduced debt, and lower and redirected payments mean Mīria can stay on top of ongoing costs, afford basic needs, and keep the family home.

As well as economic harm services, we worked with the financial mentor to support Mīria’s family in other ways. The Police ‘flexi fund’ was accessed for new beds for the children, and a small community grant allowed for the purchase of some vegetable seeds and potting mix to set up a vegetable garden. Another Good Shepherd grant made sure Mīria and her family had groceries when they moved back into their home.

Some of the children struggled with mental wellbeing throughout this experience, and returning home has allowed them to settle back into school. Mīria is grateful for the help she has received, and says she now feels confident to speak with creditors to discuss her financial situation.

“I’m starting anew, I’m a new person!” – Miria

* name has been changed for safety

Making Mili’s debt more manageable

Family violence left Mili with a lot of unmanageable debt. We could see opportunities to help her become more financially stable. So, we got to work.

Mili* got in touch with Good Shepherd after being referred to us by Women’s Refuge. She left an abusive relationship where her partner controlled all the money and the financial decisions. Mili and her five children were staying at the Refuge’s safe house, and she had a protection order against her ex-partner.

When fleeing violence, Mili had needed loans from the government for things like housing and furniture. She had to relocate six times, leading to a debt of $100,000 with the Ministry of Social Development (MSD). Mili was working with a financial mentor to try and improve her situation.

Our team could see opportunities to help her become more financially stable, so we got to work. We were able to get Mili’s repayments to MSD reduced from $98 to $30. This loan won’t be paid off in her lifetime but lower repayments should help with getting by each week.

We learned that $70 of Mili’s benefit was being redirected to pay for power each week, and this had been the case for years. Conversations with the power company revealed she was in credit by $2,000 and they hadn’t been able to make contact with her due to her address and phone number changing often as she moved to stay safe. Despite being in credit, when Mili moved into her new Kainga Ora rental and applied to the same company, they declined her due to a bad credit report. After we helped the power provider understand Mili’s situation, power was connected, her overpayment was refunded, and her power and internet was capped at $200 for six months.

Mili also had a $20,000 debt with a finance company for a recent car purchase. Her ex had always damaged her vehicles — often when she tried to leave the relationship. While Mili was staying at the safe house, he found where she was and smashed her new car so badly it couldn’t be driven. The finance company had been contacted about the loan being unaffordable when it was first obtained, and they responded by refunding interest and penalties, and lowering repayments. After the car was damaged, and through many conversations, we managed to have it returned to the finance company. Because of Mili’s unique circumstances, they wiped the remaining debt.

“Thank you so much, no one has ever been able to help me the way you have” – Mili.

_{* name has been changed for safety}

The long-term impact of economic harm

Economic harm continues to affect women even after abuse ends. Read Rebecca’s story.

“I didn’t know emotional abuse was considered domestic violence. I didn’t know economic harm was a form of abuse.”

These are things we hear all too often and it was no different with our client, Rebecca, who experienced physical, emotional, and economic harm during her marriage.

Economic harm, sometimes called economic abuse, is behaviour towards a person that controls, restricts or removes their access to money, economic resources, or participation in financial decisions.

For Rebecca, this was a gradual process, both Rebecca and her husband worked in good jobs and lived a nice lifestyle. They were married for 20 years and there was trust in their relationship but over time he began gambling and using drugs and became physically and emotionally abusive.

While it’s natural in a household for one person to look after the finances on behalf of the family, for Rebecca, this went further than managing the bills.

Her ex-husband controlled her bank accounts, accessed her email without her knowledge and was able to reset her banking password to take money directly from her. He stole valuable jewellery from Rebecca and pawned it off to pay for his addictions.

“In my culture, you just don’t leave your husband, even when there is abuse happening.”

When Rebecca realised how bad things were and wanted to leave, her family encouraged her to stay and work on her marriage.

Even as a first-generation New Zealander, these cultural norms were entrenched for Rebecca and her family.

Leaving an abusive relationship

After she separated from her ex-husband, the family home became caught up in a prolonged court process, which left Rebecca exhausted and with minimal funds to support her family.

“I had no fight left, I had to walk away.”

Because of her situation, Rebecca was struggling to support her children so started up a small business on top of her day job to survive. She still had to rely on foodbanks and community support.

Over the next year, Rebecca worked with her bank to use the proceeds from the relationship property to buy her own home. The process was almost complete when a credit check found over $40,000 of debt taken out in her name that she had no knowledge of.

This was when she was referred to Good Shepherd’s Economic Harm Support Service and met Vanessa.

Support to recover from economic harm

Good Shepherd’s Economic Harm Support Service provides advocacy and information specific to addressing economic harm. Specialists like Vanessa can help negotiate with creditors to reduce repayments, write off debts or come up with new repayment arrangements, and support to access family violence hardship provisions.

Vanessa worked closely with Rebecca, advocating for her with her bank and the other creditor to get an agreement on resolving the debt. Once a resolution for the debt had been found, Rebecca’s bank agreed to give her a home loan.

Getting a solution for the debt enabled Rebecca to get a home loan with her bank and buy her own house.

“I never thought I could do this in my life, but I did it. I can breathe again.”

Ongoing care

While Rebecca was in the process of setting up the utilities in her new home, she received a call from a debt collection agency about another debt of over $10,000 that again had been taken out in her name. The utility company that she had used for over 3 years declined to supply the home after a credit check showed a default to the debt collection agency.

Rebecca contacted Vanessa again, who worked with the utility company on a resolution for the debt. After a solution had been found for this debt, Rebecca was able to get utilities in her new home.

Stories like Rebecca’s highlight the long-term impact of economic harm, even after the relationship and other forms of abuse have ended. Good Shepherd will continue to raise awareness of this issue and encourage businesses and organisations to develop appropriate responses for their customers and clients, so we can all play our part in eliminating family harm in New Zealand.

Finding support

If you’re concerned about economic harm or want to talk with someone about the money side of your relationship, our Economic Harm Specialists are trained in advocacy and understand the impact of economic harm.

Ask for help

A reliable car for medical treatments

For Lagi, a reliable car is important. When her car stopped working and needed to be replaced, it felt like there was no way to avoid the pressure of a high-cost loan.

Two of Lagi’s family members depend on her for transport to medical appointments. 

When her car stopped working, Lagi knew life was going to be challenging. A mechanic explained that the car wasn’t worth repairing, so she looked for replacement options. 

Lagi found some suitable cars but they were out of her price range. Several finance companies rejected her application for a loan. 

Friends recommended Lagi get a car from a local dealer. The dealer offered her a loan through their in-house finance. 

Lagi’s work in education and financial services means she knows about good financial decisions. But after weighing her circumstances she felt out of options. The dealer said she needed to put down a deposit while she was there. Lagi borrowed money from family and signed the contract. 

She felt uneasy for a few days. Lagi decided to cancel the contract, and pushed to have her deposit returned.

Lagi knew she needed to sort out her finances. She arranged to talk with one of Good Shepherd’s team about her situation. Existing debt was putting Lagi too far into deficit and she was not immediately able to get a Good Loan to buy a new car. But her Good Loans Coach, Rosh, helped her with options.

They talked through a plan to change Lagi’s budget to pay off some high-cost debt, negotiate a plan with her creditors and free up some money to repay a loan for a car, and consolidate a larger debt she was struggling to get on top of. 

Lagi planned to reduce her debt over a month but managed to clear it within two weeks. With enough surplus in her budget, Lagi had a car loan confirmed and bought a car. She felt really good about getting her family where they need to be.

“I can’t find words to express my gratitude for Good Shepherd. I have already started spreading the word to my community”.