For many couples talking about money is not an easy thing to do and only occurs when financial problems arise, often leading to relationship difficulties and arguments.
Ideally, communication around money matters needs to happen regularly and in a way that works for both people.
By understanding the social norms and messages (above) we can understand how these impact men’s and women’s communication styles.
It’s not uncommon for a man to communicate in a way that comes across as authoritative, with the motive being to achieve actual, visible outcomes, and advance his own interests.
This approach can lead to a perspective where family money is viewed as their own, particularly if they are the only one earning in the relationship.
When this belief is reflected in decision-making processes, things can quickly become unbalanced – other contributions can be minimised, discussions restricted, and the health of the whole relationship can be undermined.
The way women communicate is quite different.
Women often need more time to discuss things than men, as they seek a level of emotional understanding in their conversations.
Even when couples earn similar incomes, women enjoy consulting or informing their partner about their spending, even small purchases, as it reinforces the sense of togetherness and of being a team.
Men are more inclined to make decisions, even about big purchases, on their own without consulting or informing their partner.
These differences can become problematic particularly when dealing with a complicated or emotionally fraught issue, as men are likely to provide a prompt, practical, unemotional response (assuming that is what their partner wants), often leaving the other person feeling talked down to and unheard.