If you’ve been together a while, it is possible that each of you has been labelled (fairly or unfairly) by the other person and the “you always do that” reaction becomes normal.
Old arguments can loom large, and long-term resentments can be a real barrier to effective communication.
Many couples get stuck pointing at excuses for financial problems, rather than focusing on solutions.
Even if someone has made bad financial choices or decisions, pointing those mistakes out may do more harm than good.
It is important to look at the bigger picture and work out how to come up with an agreed plan to set things back on track.
Conversations are much more productive if they are solution-focused, rather than problem-focused.
Think of something that you’ve been meaning to find a more workable solution for.
Together write the problem down, and then list a few possible solutions.
Narrow your list down to one or two best solutions, talk over the pros and cons, pick one and take some action on it.
Not only does brainstorming ideas together bring out the best possible solution, but it will also bring you and your partner closer together and give a stronger sense of dual ownership when you work as a team finding and implementing solutions.