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Bringing it all together

There is no one right solution for addressing money issues within relationships.

People are comfortable with different degrees of financial participation in their relationships. 

Try and make sure decisions are agreed upon, rather than a result of control, avoidance or frustration. 

There are many ways to co-­operatively craft financial lives that support both people in having what they want, individually and together.

The three C's of communication

One way to see if both partners are equally comfortable behind the financial wheel is by reviewing the three C’s of couple’s communication:

Make it a point to regularly set aside time to have meaningful conversations and identify shared financial goals.

Having a plan in place increases a sense of control and confidence for both partners and brings an increased peace of mind that achieving goals is possible.

Building a financial plan together gives partners an equal opportunity to understand their financial needs and how to get there. Planning allows couples greater control over how to reach shared financial goals and identify potential hurdles and sacrifices that need to be made.

Having a plan in place increases a sense of control and confidence for both partners and brings an increased peace of mind that achieving goals is possible.

Money conversations are all about partnership.

When one person is making all the financial decisions, it almost always leads to feelings of resentment and disempowerment and can be a slippery slope to financial harm.

When couples work together and set goals by having clear, honest communication, the quality of their relationship can be significantly enhanced.

Overall, managing money as a couple is a lot like managing other aspects of a relationship. It all revolves around communication, respect, and trust.

The “leaning in” to money management also sets a good example for children, not only regarding finances, but by role modelling some of the necessary components of a healthy intimate partner relationship. 

And remember… don’t give up

Your communication about money may feel slow and painful for a while, but whether you are working to change communication habits, or learn new skills, it will be worth it in the end.

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“It is great to have the strategies and challenges come together so that you are learning together, sharing together and discovering together”

– Toolkit user

Good Shepherd NZ in partnership with Dr Ayesha Scott
AUT Finance Department

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Copyright © Good Shepherd NZ and AUT, 2022.


The information, content and materials provided in our Healthy Financial Relationships Toolkit is for general informational purposes only and does not take into account the financial situation and/or particular needs of any person. Before making important financial decisions, you should seek professional advice if possible. This Toolkit contains links to other third-party websites. Such links are only for the convenience of the reader, user or browser. Good Shepherd NZ and AUT do not endorse the contents of third-party sites.

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You’ve reached the end of our Healthy Financial Relationships Toolkit. 

We hope feel like you’ve gained the tools and knowledge you need to have an effective conversation about money with your partner.

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You can revisit our Healthy Financial Relationships Toolkit at anytime to review the different topics.

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Healthy Financial Relationships Toolkit

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